Partner/Spouse Support During Surrogacy

You have been exploring the idea of becoming a gestational surrogate. You have done your research and made the decision to move forward with your journey. Helping a family achieve their dreams of parenthood is a beautiful and amazing act, but it is important to remember it is also life changing, for you and your intended parents. It is a journey that will have an impact on you and your family, specifically your significant other. It is essential your partner is on the same page with your plans to become a gestational carrier. Surrogacy requires energy, time, and patience from both of you. Let’s explore some of the ways your partner will be involved in the process and why their support is essential every step of the way.

  • Surrogacy can be a beautiful but long journey. Things don’t always go as scheduled or planned. It is important you and your partner understand the time commitment needed, start to finish.

  •  As you move through your journey, you and your partner will be required to go through several screenings before you qualify as a carrier. In addition to you going through medical screening, your partner may be required to undergo STD testing and a drug screen.

  •  You and your partner will be required to undergo a psychosocial screening. This is performed by a psychologist or social worker who specializes in working with gestational carriers and intended parents. Both you and your partner will attend this screening to ensure you both are fully aware of the responsibilities and emotional ramifications of surrogacy.

  •   As a gestational carrier, you must have ongoing independent legal representation by an appropriately qualified legal practitioner who is experienced with gestational carrier contracts. Your spouse will also be a part of this process, having to sign the final contractual agreement between you and your IPs.

  •  As you begin the IVF process leading up to an embryo transfer, your Reproductive Endocrinologist will likely order you and your partner/spouse to abstain from intercourse for a set amount of time. This is important to prevent a surprise pregnancy and to optimize the chances of success with your embryo transfer. This can sometimes put a strain on a relationship. It is important you and your partner discuss this and are both comfortable with this restriction.

  • You may have to put that family vacation on hold. Once you reach a specific milestone in your pregnancy, you will most likely have travel restrictions in place. This is to ensure you are near the hospital in which you will deliver. Make sure your family is comfortable with this before you begin your journey.

  • When undergoing IVF you will likely be prescribed injectable fertility medication that must be self-administered. Some gestational carriers find these easier to administer with the help of their partner. 

  • Let’s face it, pregnancy can be exhausting. There might be times when you run out of energy. There might be times when you don’t feel well. Support in the home makes things just a little easier. Having a stable family environment with a partner who is willing to step in and alleviate some of the household responsibilities when needed is important.   

Take the time to sit down and talk about the process and expectations with your partner.  Have a clear and mutual understanding. Listen to his/her concerns and questions. Your partner’s support can encourage your journey to be a positive and rewarding experience for both of you. 

Back to top